Fathers, fears and daughters

Fathers or daughters, who is brave enough to let go?

“It is admirable for a man to play ball with his son, but there is a special place in heaven for the father who takes his daughter shopping.” – Jeffery Boyle

Fathers’ nightmare

I’m not a perfect person. There are many areas of my life that need a lot of panel beating. I always wonder what goes on in the minds of other loving fathers as they send their daughters away in marriage. It must be difficult for some to imagine the kind of life that their daughter will live with her new man. It is easy to say ‘just pray about it and your daughter will be fine!’ Deep down some fathers will be thinking, ‘Is she really going to be happy?’ Recently I had a conversation with a couple who are into their third year of marriage. The wife confessed that her father still can’t believe that his ‘little girl’ is married and has a baby of her own!

Is there a way to prepare?

When you look around, you can’t help but notice that there are people who seem unhappy together. This could be attributed to a number of reasons. For some, the husband could be abusive and yet for others it’s because there is too much interference in the marriage. Imagine a very rich father whose daughter decides to marry that ‘poor boy from that small town’. He might not want his daughter to live in ‘poverty’ so he will go all out to show the world that he can still take care of his daughter even when she’s married. He might even buy them a house, a car and go on to employ the son in law to work for him! He’s afraid to let go. Somebody sang that ‘the heart wants what it wants’ and a daughter will go where her heart tells her. That’s love and that’s the way it goes.

What would you do?

I look at my daughter today and all I see is a big smile on her face. She has energy. With the same eyes I also see uncouth young men. There are lazy boys who are taught to sit around and be waited on by their sisters. The same boys see fathers who are abusive towards their wives. What will become of those boys?

I have a duty to perform

I could wish all I want but this life has no guarantees. All I can do is love my wife the best way possible and hopefully my daughter will appreciate how a woman ought to be loved. My role is to teach my daughter that life has its ups and downs. She’s got to be strong. My duty is to teach her to love and to be the best that she can be. I’ve got to stop worrying and trust God to instruct another father somewhere to mold his son to be the best that he can be. God works in amazing ways.

In the meantime…

I’ll continue shopping with my daughter so that I get that special place in heaven! We’ll cook together and share meals because a family that eats together stays together.