This is the day that the Lord made for my Father to leave this world, 9 years ago. Every year, on this day, I reflect on what could have been. I reflect on how many hours I spent with my father conversing about life and life’s issues. I reflect on the impact his teachings had on me. I always make it a point to phone my mother and mention to her that the day has come. She always knows. She’s missing him too, like the rest of us. I also think about the times we spent apart and I get a lump in my throat. So long big man.
The feelings of loss bring about sad emotions. It’s a place where you don’t want to dwell for a long time. But it is a place where you go to be reminded about the fragility of life. A place which tells you that NOW is all you have. I spoke to some teenagers this past week and I was shocked at the amount of space between themselves and their parents! I felt bad for them as a parent myself. I tried to explain that parents are just too busy looking for money to better their families. I also mentioned that they have love for their children. And that the children must understand that life is not only about them.
At that moment I became unpopular. The feeling among most of the teenagers was that the parents are hiding behind the fact that they are looking for money, hence the neglect. They argued that they are feeling more and more isolated as they don’t spend time with the parents. The long and short of it is that they felt alone. They felt that parents don’t care and this is the reason they are sent to boarding schools. Ah! I was shocked. But then again this is the 21st generation. I should know.
Now is priceless
And here I am reminiscing about the past and the time I didn’t spend with my father. Do they realize that people don’t last forever? There are children out there who are longing to just see their mother and father. There are children who don’t go to school because their parents can’t afford to send them to school. There are children who are heads of families today.
When this time passes, it can’t be regained. NOW is all we have. Tomorrow has no guarantees. Parents get a raw deal, sometimes. They are expected to be super humans. They can only do so much, you know. Children must obey their parents and support them in their endeavors. You don’t want to regret the time you did not spend with your parents when they are gone. The relationship has to be nurtured for mutual benefit.
On this day
When you look back in time and see all the missed opportunities, all the chances you had to make it right with Mum or Dad, you will feel bad. Whether or not the parents were horrible to you, feelings of regret will haunt you because you did not make NOW count. It is time to change your attitude. Change for you so that you do not have any feelings of regret tomorrow. If he’s really a monster of a dad, forgive him today so that tomorrow you will live in peace. Today is the time to make a change. Embrace your parents with all their beautiful and ugly attributes.
I’m celebrating the life of my father today, thinking about all the beautiful times we shared talking about life and life’s issues. I celebrate also the bad times we spent not talking to each other, missing out on the perfect chance to just enjoy life while we still had the opportunity.
Time comes and goes and sooner or later all we have are memories.